Auction!
by pathogenicmicroorganism
Summary: Shohoku High is threatening to cut off the funds of the basketball team. They need to raise money. What can they do? An auction? Auction what? Read to find out. R n R please
1. Introduction

Hi people, new story for you guys, hope you like it! I will explain more as the story goes along.

Auction!

When Coach Anzai entered the basketball gym that afternoon, Akagi could sense that there was something wrong. He turned his attention to his coach, who was the embodiment of Santa Clause save for the beard, and frowned slightly.

No one seemed to take his rapt attention to their coach as a sign of anything wrong, and they shouldn't. Every afternoon, Akagi Takenori would start practice by going straight to their coach and asking him what special drills they need to do that day.

This afternoon, Akagi was questioning whether he should go up and ask now.

Normally, Anzai sensei would come in to the basketball gym, all jolly and cheerful, alert of his surroundings and nodding once or twice to passing players. Today however, he kept his head slightly down, not really looking at anyone, and not acknowledging one of the sub's greetings.

Finally, curiosity and the burning need to know got him to walk up to his coach. He stopped right in front of the bench that Anzai-sensei sat on.

He bowed low. "Good afternoon, coach," he said steadily.

"Oh," said Anzai, sounding slightly surprised, that bothered Akagi even more. "Good afternoon, Akagi."

Akagi straightened, looking down at his coach, an almost indistinguishable frown in his face. "Erm, sir," he started, "Are you all right?"

Anzai looked up at him and gave him a look. Not _the _look, _a _look.

Akagi bowed low again. "I'm sorry sir," he said quickly, "I didn't mean to be intrusive –"

However, Anzai-sensei was chuckling slightly. It stopped Akagi from mumbling his explanations incoherently, and just stared at his coach.

Anzai-sensei looked up at him. "You know me very well, don't you Akagi?" he asked coyly.

Akagi focused on Anzai's shoulder. "You've coached me for three years, sir," he said, "it'll be disrespectful to say that I have not known you at all after that."

Anzai chuckled again, and nodded. "I'm perfectly all right, Akagi," he began, "although," and here his face suddenly became slightly graver and his eyes disappeared underneath the reflection of his glasses, "could you gather the entire team for me? There's something that we need to discuss."

Akagi nodded mutely. He turned his back to his coach, knowing full well that whatever they needed to discuss won't be to any of their liking at all.

After a few minutes, which included breaking up another fight between Rukawa Kaede and Sakuragi Hanamichi, stopping Miyagi Ryota from drooling all over Ayako, and telling all the girls that showed up for practice with banners saying "Rukawa marry me" to shut up, Anzai sensei was ready to tell everyone his big news.

He didn't mince his words either.

"The school," he began, "is debating whether the basketball team should be shut down."

Silence.

Even the fan girls were silent.

Then Sakuragi Hanamichi started to laugh.

Everyone's heads turned slowly to him.

Sakuragi had always considered himself funny, and smart, and handsome, and the team number player. He was of course, wrong in all accounts. What he was the life of the game, and the team thought that it was best for them never to mention it to the redhead, in case his head got any bigger than it already is.

This is however, the worst time for _anyone_ to laugh.

Sakuragi was still laughing, although it was clearly a fake laugh, a disbelieving laugh. No one made a move to stop him when he started to walk towards coach Anzai, his face all goofy from his laugh.

Then he started to bounce the old man's chin.

"You're kidding, right, oldster," he said, still laughing and bouncing the man's chin. "This is your weird idea of a joke right? Why would anyone want to cut off the team where the great tensai Sakuragi Hanamichi is a member?"

"Maybe they found out that you _were _a member and decided to punish us," mumbled Rukawa Kaede, the team's ace player, and one of the best in the Kanagawa region. Oh, and the apple of the entire female population of the school's eye.

"What did you say, baka kitsune?"

He was still bouncing the coach's chin.

"BAKA!"

With that, Akagi pounded a spectacular purple bump in Sakuragi Hanamichi's head.

Other player's reactions were a little more subtle. Ayako, the team's assistant coach had her hand over her mouth. Kogure Kiminobu's glasses were askew and his mouth was open. He seemed frozen in his spot. Mitsui Hisashi, the team's best three point scorer and second most popular boy in the team was looking down on the floor. His hands were in his hair, and he gripped it tightly. Miyagi Ryota, point guard and shortest in the team, looked directly at Coach Anzai, demanding an explanation. Rukawa Kaede was paler than usual, his eyes were wide and alert, which was clearly a great deviation from the norm. Akagi's mouth was hanging open, and he looked to be processing the information in his brain but found that it was impossible.

Sakuragi Hanamichi, the best defensive player (I think) that the team's got, had finally stopped bouncing the man's chin and plopped down in the hardwood court.

"But," stuttered Akagi, "how – when – why – _I beg your pardon?_"

Anzai shook his head gravely. "I know how you're feeling Akagi, I was shocked when they told me this as well," he said, "but they're thinking of really cutting off the team from the funds."

"But … why?" croaked Mitsui Hisashi. This was especially hard for him. He had only got back to the game this year, due to a past gangster life. Now that he's decided to turn a new leaf the stupid school decides to stop basketball for good?

Anzai looked at him. "The funds, Mitsui," he said, "there is not enough to go around. We're not the only club they're thinking of cutting."

"Tell me they're cutting Judo," muttered Sakuragi, smiling a little. Even Akagi managed to smile at that.

Anzai gave him a small smile. "The other clubs are not our priority, so don't bother thinking about them," he said.

"What can we do?" asked Miyagi.

"What the school needs is money right," began Ayako, "so why can't we just come up with the money ourselves?"

Anzai looked at her. "We need a lot of money, Ayako," he said.

Ayako nodded. "I know," she said, "we should be able to come up with something!"

"A car wash?" asked Saluragi, who was still sitting on the ground.

"Trust you to come up with a gay idea," muttered Rukawa.

Sakuragi rose quickly and had been pulled back by Mitsui and Miyagi before he can inflict permanent damage on Rukawa. "BAKA KITSUNE!"

Finally, when they had restrained Sakuragi, Mitsui suggested another idea. "How about a bake sale?"

"That's even gayer."

This time, Miyagi and Kogure, with the help of the rest of the team, were now trying to restrain both Sakuragi and Mitsui from killing said blue eyes fox, who was all calm and collected two feet away from the two people prepared and ready to kill him.

"Stupid Rukawa!" cried Mitsui, "at least we're thinking of something! Go use your head for once!"

"Hn."

Akagi meanwhile, turned his back to his fighting team, who from the corner of his eye finally managed to punch, strangle and throttle each other amidst a cloud of bench warmers, and turned to their coach. "Don't worry, sir," he said, "we'll think of something. We won't let the team be brought down, we swear."

Anzai nodded, and he couldn't be more prouder of his team.


	2. The Idea

Hallo! I've updated my other fics, so here's the next chapter of this story. Hope you like, read and review please!

Auction!

Chapter Two!

"Okay," said Ayako the next day, stepping sideways to give herself some breathing room from Miyagi, "I have an idea."

Akagi and the rest of the team were listening to her closely. Beside her was Haruko, Akagi's little sister, who didn't seem to be listening but looking at Rukawa instead, who in turned looked sleepy.

"Let's hear it then," said Akagi.

"Well, actually," and here Ayako smiled at Haruko. "Haruko here came up with the idea."

Haruko blushed, but didn't say anything.

"Well of course Haruko-chan came up with the idea!" cried Sakuragi Hanamichi cheerfully. It is a well known fact to anyone, except Haruko herself, that he was sporting an immensely unquenchable crush for the captain's sister. "She's so smart and talented, how can she not have come up with the idea!"

Haruko blushed even more, and gave Sakuragi a smile, who in turn grinned back. He didn't notice that Haruko's eyes had already diverted back to Rukawa Kaede, who's head was starting to bob up and down.

"What's the idea then?" asked Mitsui, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Well," began Ayako, "we were thinking that we could have an … auction."

Silence for ten seconds.

"What's an auction?"

Everyone, save for the speaker, Sakuragi, fell onto the hardwood floor.

Kogure was the first one to recover. "An auction is when you sell things to the highest bidder," he said, "you can sell anything, and the bidder will offer you a price. The person who offers you the highest price buys the item you're selling for the price of the money that he bidded."

Sakuragi nodded slowly. "So basically, we sell things to the person with the best offer."

Kogure nodded enthusiastically, and hid his amazement that Sakuragi was able to cotton on so quickly. "Right," he said.

Rukawa, however, didn't mask out amazement at all. "For a monkey, you sure caught on quick."

"BAKA KITSUNE!"

And once again, Kogure was holding back Sakuragi. Mitsui didn't bother. He was still a little stung from the gay comment that Rukawa told him yesterday.

"Hold it," said Akagi, looking at Ayako and Haruko directly. "We can't auction our stuff, we need money, and lots of it. We can't just go and sell balls and equipment to the highest bidder."

"Yeah, that'll cost us _more _money," added Miyagi, "not that it's not a good idea Ayako-chan." He added quickly.

Ayako and Haruko then looked at each other. Ayako looked like he was questioning something and Haruko was nodding encouragingly. The boys just looked from one to the other, and some, like Kogure, wondered whether girls have invented a secret language spoken only through the eyes.

"Well," said Ayako, "we weren't actually thinking of auctioning any of the basketball equipment."

Akagi narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "What were you planning to sell then?"

"Erm," said Haruko this time, "what we were thinking of is that we can um, sell, you guys."

Another ten second silence.

"NANI!"

"Selling might be the wrong word," thought Ayako out loud. Both girls have backed away from the team, as they chorused aloud their vehement exclamation.

"We're not freaking toys you know!" cried one.

"You can't do that to us!" cried another.

"This country has _laws _about things like this you know!" cried yet another.

"We didn't mean sell!" screamed Ayako back, trying to get a hold of the situation.

But some of the teams were still shouting their exclamation. Strangely enough, the first five and Kogure didn't seem to voice out any of their opinions. Perhaps, like Kogure, and Akagi, they were still too stunned to speak. Sakuragi's mouth was wide open, and Miyagi's was opening and closing like a fish. Rukawa's eyes were wider now than ever, and his sleepiness seemed to have been knocked off him.

"Shut up!" roared their captain.

They all shut up.

"Good," he nodded, and then turned to Ayako, and for some reason, she thought that he looked extremely menacing. "Now, explain."

"Er, ha-hai!" said Ayako, trying to deep breathly to maintain her calm. "Er, we didn't mean that we're gonna sell you guys, of course not. For one thing, it's illegal."

"Then what did you mean?" asked Kogure. The team seem to be recovering their voices fast.

"Um," continued Haruko, "what we meant that we're gonna auction you guys off. Not sell, no one will exactly be sold, I think that's illegal."

"So what do you mean?" asked Mitsui impatiently.

"Well," she continued slowly, "we were thinking that we can auction you guys off...for dates."

Silence for another ten seconds.

"Oh for heaven's sake!" cried Ayako, "say something!"

Some of the boys looked at each other. Kogure looked at Akagi. Sakuragi turned to Miyagi and Miyagi turned to Mitsui and Mitsui turned back to Sakuragi (circle of life). Rukawa just looked sleepy.

"You know," said Sakuragi, after a few more seconds. "That may be a good idea..."

Haruko's eyes lit up. "You think so, Hanamichi?"

Sakuragi turned red and rubbed the back of his head. "Of course, Haruko-chan! It's a brilliant idea! Sign me up!" Secretly, he was thinking that maybe Haruko could buy him as a date.

Ayako turned to Akagi. "It'll raise a lot of money, captain," she reasoned, "coz we'd be getting the best price for these dates. The basketball team is really popular, just look at the many girls that flock here every practice! Rukawa alone can give us a hundred thousand yen at least -"

"Excuse me?"

Ayako, Akagi, Kogure and practically the rest of the team turned to Rukawa, who was surprisingly not asleep, but looking, no, glaring at Ayako in the most murderous way.

"Are you talking about me?" he asked.

Ayako didn't answer.

"Cause if you think you're selling me then you people have got to be out of your freaking minds."

"But, Rukawa-kun," began Ayako -

"There are no ifs, and or buts to it," he answered back calmly. After all, this is a girl we're talking about. Much as he hated the idea of being sold to one of those screaming hysterical fangirls, girls should still be respected. Especially, older girls with hard paper fans.

"But it's a good idea, Rukawa," protested Kogure, who was for some reason, red.

"Yeah!" agreed Sakuragi, "Just think for once in your miserable life, we can get the money for the team, and have dates at the same time! Nyahahahaha!"

Rukawa glared at Sakuragi. "You just like the idea because it gets you a date for once." he muttered.

"Nani?"

Then, in another unprecedented move, Rukawa smirked. "If someone bothers to buy you that is."

"BAKA KITSUNE!"

Then the great tussle of the two would be best players in the Kanagawa region, Fight 67, Round 477, commenced.

Everyone else just sweatdropped.

Finally, Akagi and Mitsui both had the good sense to separate the two from each other. The two were still glaring daggers at each other, but that's okay, cause looks can't kill.

"Come on, Rukawa," heaved Mitsui, pulling him up. "It's a good idea, plus it's our _only _idea. And think about it, it'll be nice to go out on dates." He looked up at the ceiling. "I can already think of the many girls that would just be lining up to go out with me, all I have to do is choose." He smiled. "Maybe I don't have to choose. I can date them one by one."

"That makes you a male prostitute," pointed out Rukawa calmly.

"Teme Kitsune!"

And the match between Rukawa and Mitsui, fight 34, round 657, commenced.

"ENOUGH!" roared the captain.

Rukawa and Mitsui froze. Rukawa had his fist a centimeter away from Mitsui's nose, and Mitsui had his fist a centimeter away from Rukawa's teeth, so we can call this match even.

"This is the only idea we have, and frankly, it'll do us a great good to use it. It'll get us a lot of money. The only sacrifice that it's asking is a few minutes of our time."

"Why, gori," asked Sakuragi slyly, "you're joining? Wanna go on a date with some girl?"

Akagi landed another phenomenal lump in Sakuragi's head. However, he lost all his menacing look when he blushed.

"I'm not joining." said Rukawa bluntly, standing up and glaring at the rest of the team.

"Oh yes you are," said Ayako, waving the paper fan at him.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are," boomed Akagi, "and if you don't, you're suspended from our first match."

Rukawa crossed his arms, cursed, and stalked off to the locker rooms.

Akagi smiled smugly at Rukawa's back. It was good to be captain.

* * *

Okay, there are a few things I need to explain. Now, I'm auctioning the boys off, and thoughI have the power to do that in this story, I am in no way entitles to any of them, in other words, ALL DISCLAIMERS APPLY. There, now the legal part's done. Next, **I need your help.**I need bidders, people willing to buy them. Write a Japanese name that you like and what you bid, on any of the Shohoku Characters. I'm still thinking if I should include Sendoh and the others, and if I do, how I can manage to put them in without the story being ridiculous.

So now you're obligated to review. Hehe, write a name you like, any name really, but it would be nice if it's Japanese, and I'll put you in it. Okay? Thannks.


	3. erm, consequences to agreeing

Hi guys, thanks for reading. Rest assured your names will be taken and used here. Erm, I'm not sure if I can make this yaoi, since I haven't written one of those in like, ever, I can try though can't I? What do you think? Oh, and the bidding hasn't started yet, cause I'm still thinking of a decent way to make the rest of the guys from SD show up in Shohoku without it being stupid. More names and bids are welcome! Girl, boy, bakla, tomboy, butiki, baboy! Anyone really...Okay?

Auction

Chapter Three

The next week, the plan was all set up. Everyone had agreed to the idea, some willingly went along with it, while others, well, needed a little persuading, and to be frank, threatening.

Sakuragi and Mitsui have been enthusiastic ever since they heard of the idea, saying things like, "I wonder how much I'll go for" or "Someone's gonna buy me for sure!" in very loud voices during basketball practice, then they would turn menacingly to Rukawa, in case he decides to come up with a smart-ass comment after their declaration.

Miyagi was also looking forward to the day of the auction. To show his enthusiasm, he had been following Ayako more so than usual, dropping a constant stream of hints to her that he would like her to buy him. It was as if Ayako had not known that the talented point guard - though unfortunately lacking in talent on how to deal with women - had an immensely uncurable crush, no scratch that, was completely in love with her.

She was still debating whether she should bid on him or not.

Next up, Kogure. Having been bunked down from the first five to the sixth man of the game, Kogure was quite looking forward to having his own limelight for once. It was not that he was boastful or that he prides himself in the same way that Sakuragi does, he just thought that it would be nice for once to have his own spotlight. He wasn't bad looking, he thought to himself, and he's proud to say that he was quite smart, thank you very much. He didn't say much of the topic though, thinking about it and saying it out loud were two different things. Everytime someone tries to talk to him about it, he blushes lightly, but not light enough for Sakuragi to not notice.

Sakuragi seemed to have found him, Kogure, quite amusing. "Megane-kun!" he would say teasingly, "Who do you think would buy you?"

He had thought about the same thing. He was quite confident - though not as confident as Sakuragi and Mitsui - that someone was bound to buy him, for the reasons stated in the fifth paragraph of this chapter. He would definitely have to be bought by a girl, definitely, he thought, I mean, boys can't bid on us, can't they?

"Hey Ayako!" he shouted in a slight panicky voice, "Just girls right? Girls are bidding?"

Ayako gave him a weak smile. "Erm," she said slowly.

Kogure did not like that 'erm'.

"WHAT?" screamed Sakuragi and Mitsui, who have both gone pale. "You mean, _guys_ can buy _us?_"

"Well, Akagi-sempai's talking to the principal about it, so I'm not sure yet," she said, backing away slowly. "But I think it's a...free for all."

"_NANI?_" most of the team screamed. Kogure looked around. Mitsui and Sakuragi visibly shuddered. Ayako looked like she was preparing herself for her burial. Miyagi didn't seem to take any of the information in as he stared lovingly at Ayako. Rukawa looked nonplussed, and Kogure wondered why. He just looked at the wooden floor and prayed to the Almighty Lord to have mercy on him.

Shaking the thought of the possibly of a boy buying him, a feat that he managed to his surprise, and thought instead of happy thoughts. Being a guy who likes to prepare for everything, he had the whole date planned out on his head. They might go to a movie, dinner before or after, he didn't really care. He just wants to have a good time, and then they can maybe go for a swim, or even basketball, if she's interested. He wouldn't hog the whole date of course, he was a gentleman, after all...

Let's leave Kogure-kun to his thoughts now and head on towards none other than Rukawa-kun! Rukawa, at first, flat out refused, but after being threatened by suspension from the game, he gloomily had to agree to this ... _thing _they called a fund-raiser. Can't they just ask him for money? He would gladly fund the entire team for crying out loud! But they didn't ask, and he wasn't about to offer. He was on the verge of offering, but when he decided it was too late and plans were already starting to go in motion. He had to go through with this ... _thing ... event ... whatever._

As much as he liked basketball, he detested the idea that he can be 'bought' and sold to screaming girls as a 'date'. For crying out loud, he didn't have a girlfriend for a reason. Just how unfair is this? And then Ayako had to come up and tell everyone that they can be sold to a _boy?_ The world can really be mean, he thought. But he didn't dwell much on that, he would just have to beat up his 'date' senseless if said date turned out to be a guy.

Akagi, meanwhile, was not thinking of the possibility to have a date. He had just come out of the principal's office with Anzai-sensei and he had breathed a huge sigh.

Of relief.

"I must say, Akagi," said Coach Anzai, with a twinkle in his eye, "this is the most amusing idea any of you can come up with."

Akagi didn't dare look down on his coach. He felt his face slightly warm up as he stared determinedly at the end of the corridors that they were walking out of, towards the basketball gym. It was bad enough to explain it to the principal, who seemed to have been amused by his idea and probably the redness of his face, now his coach has to make him relive it all over again.

"I didn't come up with this idea, sir," he said, quite stiffly, "it was Ayako and Haruko's."

"It's a very amusing idea."

"Yes, I can hardly breathe from laughing," said Akagi dully, who seem to be reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (Hermione said it when she got punched by Fred and George's telescopes).

"It's also an idea that can work."

Akagi opened the gym doors and stepped aside to let Coach Anzai in first. "For our sakes, I hope so."

* * *

Monday was the intended announcement of the Basketball player's bidding, but rumors had begun to surface Friday morning, where many were under the impression that - 

"The Shohoku Basketball Team Members are planning to sell their souls!" whispered a girl in the grounds, a whisper that carried over to many ears.

"That's stupid! They can't sell their souls," cried, her companion, a guy, "everyone knows there's no anti-Christ here!"

"Maybe they're just selling their things," suggested a girl, who was mercifully, logical.

"And what," asked another guy, "they're gonna play naked?"

"Ooh, I hope so!" cried another girl away from them. The four students turned to the girl, who blushed and ran away laughing, no doubt to tell her friends what she just heard.

"Do you think they'll really play naked?" asked the guy who declared that there wasn't an anti-Christ in the school.

* * *

By Friday afternoon, everyone in the school seem to be under the impression that the Shohoku Team was going to play naked. More people than usual showed up to watch practice, and not just girls, boys were there too. 

The team was blissfully unaware of the rumors. This they manage because they were concentrating on their game against a visiting school. So far the first five was unaware of any of the speculation, but Ayako and Kogure, who were nearest to the chattering crowd was able to hear some of the conversation.

"Shohoku's gonna play naked!"

Kogure whipped his head so fast that his neck cricked.

The gaggling student, a boy and his companion, a girl, didn't seem to notice.

Kogure turned his head back to the game, but kept on listening, a slight trace of panic in his eyes.

"That's ridiculous," retorted the girl, "why would they play naked?"

"It's true," insisted the boy, "I think they need money or something."

"Well, there's Kogure-sempai now," Kogure shifted his weight from one foot to another, "go ask him."

Obviously, the two were under the impression that they couldn't be overheard.

"No way!" said the boy, "I can't do that! He might think I'm gay!"

"But you _are _gay," countered the girl, "and I thought you like him?"

"I do," said the boy, and here Kogure's knees began to get weak. "But he doesn't need to know that."

This time, the girl's tone became amused. "I bet you'd like to see him play naked huh?"

The smile in the boy's face cannot be hidden from his tone of voice. "I'm sure reality would trump my imagination any day."

Here Kogure hang on to the benches for support until he finally just gave up and sat down.

Ayako, who was standing, looked down on him with a big grin on her face. He tried to glare at her, after all, this was her idea from the beginning. This was all her fault. But the words of the boy was still sending shivers down his spine.

Anzai-sempai then turned to him, an amused expression in his face. Evidently, he heard the conversation too. "I'm sure he'll like what you have to offer, Kogure-kun."

Ayako ran to the hallway and laughed out loud there. Kogure saw her collapse in a heap on the floor. He looked up at the heavens, and wondered what he had done to deserve this.


End file.
